Feeling hurt...

I happened to click on a link in a signature on our local board and came across the "Baby Bio"

http://tinyurl.com/6gp4ul

It made me cry... I can't believe all the pregnant women there as well as all the moms. It hurts.

I should be on there! I have tried so hard and for a long time and still am not pregnant. Not to mention that most of those pregnancies were conceived while I was TTC. There is hope, because two of them are fellow TTTCers... I'm still standing here...waiting.

(Ladies if you see this- It has NOTHING to do with you or something that you did, it's just sad for me that I am still not included on either of those lists yet).

They all joke about drinking the water and catching it, I must have been immunised against pregnancy when I was a teen or something.


********UPDATE********
OMG!!!! After this blog entry there was another post on the local board, a NEW woman looking for a place to take her IRISH TWINS....UGH!!! WTF?!?!?!? Great.... so I can't seem to get pregnant to save my life an here comes another reminder that others do it so well....two in less than a year

::hand-head::

Changes...

I had my pre-med U/S and there were no cysts and they changed my meds. I was taking Clomid CD3-7 and 150IUs of Repronex on CD9.

I am now taking all Repronex CD3-7 for right now. I have another appointment on Monday to check the follies (I doubt that I will be ready to trigger... so that looks like I will be coming back...AGAIN....)UGH!! That's a LONG drive at 5:30 in the morning!

I'm glad that I am off work to get these appointments... I HATE calling a sub!

Round two...

So my period came %#*$!!!

I spent yesterday crying and feeling sorry for myself my friend Jack helped...(Daniels)

I had a friend over and we listened to the Wicked soundtrack and cleaned out my office(something I have been putting off... it's nice to have friends you can torture)

We were up till like 3am drinking(don't tell my RE!)

I have made my pre-med U/S on Wed @7am(UGH!) I got more suppliments and baby asprin, I'm going to take them and make sure that they are all OK to take with the other meds, and ready to get going!!

I will be starting acupuncture this cycle (don't know if I will keep it up durring our break[Nov&Dec-possibly Jan] but for this cycle I will).

"Don't wish... don't start. Wishing only wounds the heart"-Wicked

White spaces...

They are good-right?

White walls.... white shirt...white canvas....

Not so cool when they are on your HPT where that 2nd line should be.

BFN.

Boo....

Still crampy... now I have heartburn(from cleaning the baseboards and putting my head below my belly-but still)

I'm not a happy camper in this 2ww!

So I was reading Sweetpea's blog and read that she tested at 10DPO at night (like me right now)... so I tested. BFN.

I guess that I'm glad that it's out of my system... I won't test again till Monday morning.

%*@&!!!!!

Tough...

I can't believe how hard these last few days have been.... I have never felt this way during a cycle... but my hope for this one is just so high~!

I just don't know if I can wait to test... and I don't know what I will do if it's negative. I'm sure I will get up and keep trying, but my heart is in this cycle more than any other.

I don't know what the Clomid and Repronex will do to my LP-it's normally 12 days. So I can't test till 13DPO because I'm sure, that it will be at least 12 days, and I know that it will be an accurate result on the FRER ( I always hate the rationalizations "it's just too early".... you know)

Stay tuned to hear more crazy ramblings, Monday morning- 3 days

Crampy...

Welcome October!!!

I feel yucky!!! The day of the IUI my uterus hurt all day... and then the couple days that we actually did attempt sex... my uterus hurt-like hell!!! Nobody tells you that it will hurt!

So yesterday...I started to get crampy... towards the end of the day... and it hasn't gone away : (

While I'm not excited about the crampy... maybe this is a good sign?!?!? I NEVER get this way... but I don't know if it's from the IUI or that I may be pregnant...

I have to say... that getting a progesterone test of 24.5 today, and the cramps, and DH's grandpa, and another nestie getting a BFP today... they all have my hopes WAY up : )