Worry...

WOW.... you just can't understand how much that you are going to worry through this TTC, pregnancy, birth, and motherhood process!!

It seriously starts the minute that second line pops up!

I got ANOTHER bad blood test on my 2nd trimester screening and have to go in for a level 2 u/s to check and make sure that the baby doesn't have a birth defect.BLEL!!

In addition to that a good friend of mine on the boards had an urgent OB appointment because they didn't like what they saw on the u/s (about 8 weeks) and are worried about the HB. I COULD REACH THROUGH THE COMPUTER AND SMACK THAT GUY!!!! From what I can tell he didn't put a positive spin on any of it, like; "We will take your blood, and make sure that everything is still going good, come in if you feel funny over the weekend, and we will see you next week!" : )

NOOOOOOOO!!!! It was all; "Your beta has to double by early next week and you may have a miscarriage over the weekend"~! YOU FUCKING ASSHAT!!!!

Don't you know that worrying a pregnant lady (and me too!!) isn't good?!?!?!

On a positive note~ Reasons that I feel that this little baby (and it's momma, will be just fine)

- Saw a HB (always a good sign)
- 8 weeks (nice milestone)
- My doctors (RE, OB, NP) didn't tell me my baby's HB till last week (16weeks)
- Many DRs like to be overly cautious and set you up for the WORST, so you will be ready and more importantly- not sue them!

So please send good thoughts!!

17 weeks...

Baby's skeleton is hardening, changing from rubbery cartilage to bone, and fat is finally accumulating around it. The umbilical cord is getting thicker and stronger, and those little fingers and toes are now topped by one-of-a-kind prints.

Pictures...

I have been slacking on these!!! SORRY~! One of them is a profile of the baby looking up and to the left, and the other is a full-body shot!

More dreams...

I had one the other night where I was having trouble breastfeeding and my baby had a VERY cartoonish mouth and movement, including the mouth of a somewhat "Hungry, Hungry Hippo" effect.... OH GOD!!! I jumped when the baby latched on, in the ways that those stupid hippos do in the game.

I had a dream where I "woke up" from a nap, or surgery or something and my "baby" was 15 months old!!!! That's not the problem.... it was my SECOND child that was 15 months... this baby that I'm pregnant with now was almost three!!! OMG!!! I actually cried, because I felt that I had missed such an important part of my baby's life.

I had one last night, after talking with my NP about contractions that I'm having and learning the L&D process at my hospital. I was told that I won't get to have MY OB, but whoever is on call... bummer.... I think that I will talk to my OB about a scheduled C-section for my various reasons, and that inspired my dream.

In the dream last night, I was sleeping, at like 4am and I was, I guess asleep during it, then I woke up and delivered my baby (a boy this time) and the problem was, the "baby" was normal size and looked just a little small... a miracle because I delivered him at like 20 some weeks! But the kid was an infant size, but was really a 5 year old! It talked and everything!

16 weeks...

Watch what you say... tiny bones forming in baby's ears mean the little one can now pick up your voice. Eyebrows, lashes and hair are starting to fill in, and taste buds are forming. And, if you're interested, an ultrasound might be able to determine gender.

Randoms...

Today was a weird day, but I loved it.

I woke up early to get to my ON appointment and the sky was covered with dark clouds (almost about to rain) and it made me think about the weather.... I LOVE when the weather changes!!! I love it when you come out of Winter and into Spring, and then into Summer!! LOVE it!!

Talked to my OB about the PAPP-A problem and told him that DH was a full term 4lb baby and I was a pre-term 5 lb baby and he talked about the additional monitoring (more u/s and non-stress tests) and talked about knowing the signs of pre-term labor and hypertension.

Met a friend at my house and we went to lunch and the mall and on other errands had lots of fun!!! We set her up on an online dating site, and that was fun too!!)

I'm feeling a lot of pressure in my abdomen (like the uterus is growing and pushing everything in there) and some cramps, a little morning sickness but nothing like before. So far, so well!

Dreams...

I swear that since I got pregnant that I have had the WORST dreams!!!

- The world came to an end, through a flood

- I started lactating at 5 months pregnant and was pumping BLOOD

- I was sent back to work with my terrible 2nd graders when I was 9 months pregnant

- Because of the economy (and 2 pregnancies within 2 months of mine) that we won't get anything, or anything comparable to what we have given at baby showers and our kid was sleeping in our bed till 5!!

- I was 9 months pregnant and was dating some guy (he was hot) who already had two kids (I hate dreams where you wake up feeling like a cheater! LOL!!)

- The US tech ruined our surprise baby by telling me it was a GIRL (foretelling?!?!)

BLEH!!!! DH doesn't seem able to sleep very well either!!! I keep tossing and turning all night and I'm sure I'm keeping him up.