Appointment...

The 1st one! OMG!

I was so lucky to get an appointment for about two weeks away, instead of the 6 that I thought we would have to wait.

We will go over the test results (she may look at my HSG and see a blockage or find something in my b/w-They are making me do it again because it was done over 4 months ago) and then she will prescribe a protocol.

I think that DH is very nervous... He doesn't want to stop smoking the occasional cigar and drinking the occasional beer... I can't say I blame him... I have almost had it with no caffeine, alcohol, soy, thing.... He already gave up baths that he just found out that he LOVES... we didn't have a bath tub at our old house.

I still can't believe that I haven't had caffeine in a year...

I'm scared too... while the idea of twins excites me (a little) the reality is I don't know how we would manage them.... I'm scared to be taking Clomid and all it's side effects... It looks like I will be starting work earlier than I thought and that means appointments in the morning and needing a sub, and terrible "Clomid Crazies" with twenty, seven year-olds...

I'm scared that my wanting a baby and pushing for the testing and treatment will bother DH, I'm scared to wait or slow down with TTC because I need to feel that I am doing all that I can to get pregnant.

I still see us getting pregnant, I know that it will happen... but the question is "when?" I could wait a lot longer... but that means that we will be older when we become parents.

DH said last week that "we need to step on it" because otherwise he feels that he will be too old to be a dad (his personal opinion)... It took his parents 2.5 years for him and another 2.5 for his brother... That is a long time to wait, and if I have to, I will... but that doesn't mean that I have to like it.