Simmer down...

You ladies CRACK ME UP!!!!! LOVE YA!!!!

So... we had a GREAT time out of town for the IUI, but I will tell that story in another post (too long)

We got up at 5:45 am to get DH "ready" so to speak.....(ewwww). He had to "produce" (another ewwwww) between 6-6:30 am and it had to be drooped off by 7am.

So Afterwards I jump in the car with the cup between my boobs (thak God for those babies right now). I get to the RE and drop it off. The hotel was only 3 minutes from the office, so I went back. DH got ready for work (REALLY didn't want to leave me alone... and was very lovie).

So I go back at 8:45 am and check in(which has been a problem because they can't seem to get my benefits right-UGH!) I'm nervous as hell and they are making me wait! Bleh!!!

I go into the room and take off my pants(always a pleasure) and I wait.

The midwife comes in and shows me MY husband's sperm and ask me to hold it and keep it warm. She shows me his information and asked me to sign it-looked something like this

m/ml.... Pre-Wash..... Post-Wash
VOl....... 2ml............ 0.5
Motil......75%.............78%
Count......215.7mil.......7.86mil

Don't know what any of this means.... but oh well...

She then asks me to put my feet in the stirrups and lay back. Then she wants me to scoot down.

Well.... half naked, feet in stirrups, someone looking at your privates, while holding your husband's sperm... is already hard enough... now I have to "scoot"

I was trying and said it was difficult, and the midwife was all pissy, "it's better that you hold it, than I leave it on the counter and it get cold!".....uh...ok. I was just saying that it was tough.

She said that I may feel slight cramping...UM....NO!!!! She SHOVED the catheter in and it felt like I was being STABBED with a KNIFE!!!!! Then she shoved the plunger and put the sperm in, ripped the catheter out and some sperm cam with it- LADY!!! The point of an IUI is to put the sperm INTO the uterus!!! UGH!!!

I asked her for a copy if my husband's report (I frecking SIGNED it, I WANT a copy) and she forgot, so before she left I asked for it again. She said "well, I won't make you a copy... I have other patients to see. One of the nurses will do it"- YIKES!!!!

I didn't care WHO did it, I just wanted it done!

The remainder of the day SUCKED!!! I was bloated from the IUI and crampy... my ovaries were about to BURST and when they did that hurt as well! UGH!!

I am still eating baby spinach to thicken up the lining and pineapple to help with implantation, I refuse to give up! My gag reflex on the other hand... I wish it would quit.