Right now I am seriously doubting my desire to have a baby, or be a mother at all. I think that it's weird that I would feel this way after all the TTTC we have been through(and are still going through) but I am.
Honest.
I wonder if I will be able... willing... to give up everything. I don't consider myself an overly selfish person (just the normal amount) but I am wondering if I will be able to do it.
I watched my godchildren today (boy 4, girl 1) and it got me thinking.
Am I really ready for this? Will I ever be ready for this? Is this what I really want?
we live
9 years ago
2 comments:
I can't answer those questions about do you really want this, only you can. But I am gald you are asking it.
As for giving everything up, motherhood isn't a loss of self, just a major reorganization. ;)
Good luck finding the answers, to your very important questions.
I went through the same thought process on and off from starting about cycle 13. There were days, and weeks even, I didn't really care if it happened anymore. I was tired of the heartbreak month after month and I started looking around at parents in store trying to control their badly behaved children and thought, "well, maybe I won't ever have to deal with that." And I was ok with that. But it scared the hell out of me at the same time.
I think it's another coping mechanism our IF brains try out. I hope that the feeling passes for you soon. And if it doesn't, that's ok too.
((hugs))
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