I want to thank...

Well.... I just don't know what to say! ::blushes::

Jaime(you may all know her as BadaBing327 or now as dolce) has awarded me the "Lights across the Web Award"

Thanks!!!

In turn I am awarding it to a few of my gals.

T.bird
Mrs. Wombat
KittyLove

Freaky...

So we went to DH's grandma's yesterday for lunch (we do that a lot) and we were all sitting around the dinner table talking (picture Eddie Murphy in The Klumps... Oh... yeah... that's us) and the conversation was on something rather boring...

Grandpa turns to me and says "Sharra.... what are we talking about?"

I said "blah, blah, blah-whatever it was at the time"

He says "Oh.... well.. I thought that you were pregnant"

We all start to laugh and I say "no"-unfortunately

He says "oh... well you took all the wind out of my sails... I though you were pregnant"

Sorry grandpa, no (well.. not YET!!!!)

I just thought that it was weird... If I DO END UP PREGNANT this cycle- he called it (how Val says it)

That would be something!!! DH dismissed it saying that grandpa says all sorts of 'off-beat' things... but the timing of this is just too great!!! : )

Out of town...

So... the RE's office is like 50 some miles from home and we have to take 4 freeways to get there, so when we knew that we needed to have the semen droped off by 7am that we wouldn't make it from home.

So we decided that we would get a hotel and stay the night. The Re's office is close to Disneyland so we thought about going to Downtown Disney for dinner.

We got a great hotel-The Hayatt Regency for $45!!!!http://orangecounty.hyatt.com/hyatt/hotels/index.jsp

So after comming home from work and getting ourselves and the dogs ready we left. Droped the dogs off at my Dad's on the way and headed into Orange County. Finally got there and checked in- NIIIIIIICE!!

Decided to take the free shuttle from the hotel, went downstairs and waited. It was supposed to be there in 10 minutes- either never showed or came by and didn't say the destination.... so we waited another 30 minutes. It's 8pm. AFTER we get on the buss, they say that the last pick-up was at 8:50- GREAT!!! So we had to take the round trip back to the hotel.

It's now 8:30 and we have to find somewhere to eat- STARVING!!! We saw a mexican food place around the corner... so we walk. It's expensive and up-scale, not what we were looking for. Keep walking.... decide to call Downtown Disney and see if it's not too late to get our car and drive. They close at 9:30-not enough time. Bummer.

So we continue walking and called Val to ask about places to eat. Now we are standing on the corner near our hotel thinking about where to eat. I notice there is a cop-car near by... and they are STARING at me.

I tell DH that they are, then joke "ain't gonna pull me over" because my incident last week, and... hello?!?!? we were WALKING!!!

Not one munite later- sirens and lights. YOU!

He asked us what we were doing there, wanted to know our relation, wanted to see our hotel key, and where we were from.... pulled DH away and aked him my age, then asked me- LIKE WE WERE DOING SOMETHING WRONG!!!!

Eventually let us go- I was laughing uncontrollably because it was too funny.... DH WAS GETTING PISSED!!

We finally went to dinner at Red Robbin- not what what planned, but what ever is?

Simmer down...

You ladies CRACK ME UP!!!!! LOVE YA!!!!

So... we had a GREAT time out of town for the IUI, but I will tell that story in another post (too long)

We got up at 5:45 am to get DH "ready" so to speak.....(ewwww). He had to "produce" (another ewwwww) between 6-6:30 am and it had to be drooped off by 7am.

So Afterwards I jump in the car with the cup between my boobs (thak God for those babies right now). I get to the RE and drop it off. The hotel was only 3 minutes from the office, so I went back. DH got ready for work (REALLY didn't want to leave me alone... and was very lovie).

So I go back at 8:45 am and check in(which has been a problem because they can't seem to get my benefits right-UGH!) I'm nervous as hell and they are making me wait! Bleh!!!

I go into the room and take off my pants(always a pleasure) and I wait.

The midwife comes in and shows me MY husband's sperm and ask me to hold it and keep it warm. She shows me his information and asked me to sign it-looked something like this

m/ml.... Pre-Wash..... Post-Wash
VOl....... 2ml............ 0.5
Motil......75%.............78%
Count......215.7mil.......7.86mil

Don't know what any of this means.... but oh well...

She then asks me to put my feet in the stirrups and lay back. Then she wants me to scoot down.

Well.... half naked, feet in stirrups, someone looking at your privates, while holding your husband's sperm... is already hard enough... now I have to "scoot"

I was trying and said it was difficult, and the midwife was all pissy, "it's better that you hold it, than I leave it on the counter and it get cold!".....uh...ok. I was just saying that it was tough.

She said that I may feel slight cramping...UM....NO!!!! She SHOVED the catheter in and it felt like I was being STABBED with a KNIFE!!!!! Then she shoved the plunger and put the sperm in, ripped the catheter out and some sperm cam with it- LADY!!! The point of an IUI is to put the sperm INTO the uterus!!! UGH!!!

I asked her for a copy if my husband's report (I frecking SIGNED it, I WANT a copy) and she forgot, so before she left I asked for it again. She said "well, I won't make you a copy... I have other patients to see. One of the nurses will do it"- YIKES!!!!

I didn't care WHO did it, I just wanted it done!

The remainder of the day SUCKED!!! I was bloated from the IUI and crampy... my ovaries were about to BURST and when they did that hurt as well! UGH!!

I am still eating baby spinach to thicken up the lining and pineapple to help with implantation, I refuse to give up! My gag reflex on the other hand... I wish it would quit.

Low down...

So.... I know that all of you have been wondering (all three of you- LOL) So I am going to post an update with everything... but not till I talk to Val first!! ; )

I'm tired of posting things on the Blog and having her get the information there ; /

SOOOOO.... after I talk to Val (my SIL BTW) I will update everyone- I PROMISE!

Going for it...

I got the email saying that we are proceeding with the IUI on Tuesday morning. I trigger tonight at 9:30.

I am going to do everything that I can to make sure that my lining thickens, taking everything and eating everything I can- Let's hope this works!

If by Tuesday morning they say that it's still not thick enough I am going to bold-face ask if this counts as a "treatment cycle" because I KNOW that next cycle will be the same treatment and what happens, if this happens again?!

I REFUSE to get run over and let the RE make ALL the decisions! This is my body and you work for me! WE need to do the best thing and come to an understanding. So THERE! Neiner, neiner, neiner! :: Blows a raspberry and sticks out tongue::

Work it...

So the appt showed that my right ovary is a type "a" personality it had a TON of follies!!!! There were 3 that were big enough to measure- 1 was "extra large" 1 "large" and one "small" so it looks like we will have at least one and maybe two eggs on that ovary.

The left ovary.... seems to be a type "c" personality- NO EGGS-NONE! : ( Bummer!!!
I was not ready for that! Oh well... at least there is a good response on the other side.

My lining- 5.8....not good. The RE says that it HAS TO BE over 6 to get pregnant and that they want to see no thinner than 8.5.... looks like that sucks for me.

They think I will trigger tonight and have our IUI on Tuesday morning- I hope that my lining can thicken up by then! I am eating baby spinach and looking for any other options that will help.

I'm going to ask about this cycle counting towards our 6 treatment cycles because the lining is not good- I guess Tuesday morning will tell.

::think lining dust::

Crying...

For no "real" reason... I'm sure the meds are getting to me... but the tears just keep comming.

I wonder if I will be this emotional when I get pregnant?

Owww!!!

I took my first IM shot last night. As soon as DH got home we got everything together to do it.

I cried... I didn't want to take the shot... it wasn't the needle... it was the fact that I HAVE TO take it and the DH HAS to give it.

If I had gone into an office I would have felt better... but here at home in my kitchen... it was too much and I cried.

It hurt... not gonna lie. The needle didn't hurt as much, but the meds going in DID!! Now this morning my arm is KILLING ME!

I just hope that at tomorrows appt (7:30am) that there are some GREAT follies and the my lining looks GOOD and we are ready to trigger in the next few days. I don't want to take more Repronex and drive for more u/s.

Let's just hope that this works!

Sorry officer...

So after not sleeping at all Tuesday night (thank you Clomid!) I got out of bed at 6am and went to work. The kids drove me crazy as usual and then it was time to leave. I drove from school-work and went to my student teaching seminar.

I only had 30 minutes to relax and then I had to listen to the Asst. Dean talk for two hours that did nothing but confuse me, because my program is very different than the majority of the class.

Another 30 minutes to "rest" and then my other class. My professor MUST be related to Ben Stien- "Buler?.......Buler?......Buler? So I am FINALLY released from my torture and headed home to my husband- who happen to have the afternoon off.... bummer that I was busy ALL DAY!

So as I round the last corner near my house, the green arrow that I am about to turn on goes from green.... to yellow, to red. Well... I was already though the intersection when it was yellow- I KNOW! I LOOKED!!!

::red and blue lights behind me::- CRAP!!!!!

He pulls me over for running a "red light"....::starting to cry"" FRECKIN CLOMID!!

Him- Do you know that you ran a red light?

Me- No, it was yellow when I entered the intersection and then quickly turned red.

H- It was a solid red.

M- Not really, it changed fast.

H- Have you been drinking?

M- No. ::thinking to myself that I would have LOVED to have been out drinking!

H- Is your licence suspended?

M- No.

H- Are you taking any medications?

M- Yeah, but they are prescriptions

H- What are they? Are you ok to drive while on them?

M- Yeah ::small giggle:: they are just fertility drugs

He runs off to run my licence. I don't think that he did... he didn't get back into the car. So then he comes back, asks me to get out of the car because "my eyes are glazed over"- Uhhh HELLO?!?!?! I'm on fertility drugs, haven't slept in days, I'm stressed out and am about to get another frecking ticket!

(( I got a ticket 4 days before my wedding for going 7mph over the limit, and then another one 3 days later- the day before my wedding for speeding. I WAS... I had to get to the rehearsal. I had my wedding dress on the passenger seat and my veil the cop didn't care))

So I get out and he is having me "follow the finger" and as he is like a foot away from me I meant to say "I will take a breathalyzer" and it came out all ghetto- "I'll BLOW"..... OOPS!!! I mean that I will take the test.... sorry! sorry! sorry!

He laughs... then asks if I'm "ok"... here comes the Clomid again

M- btwahahahahaha....::tears::( I think that it was the fact that a total strainer- and a good looking guy in a uniform at that- was asking if I was OK. I explained that it was the drugs making me cry and that I'm just tired.

Turns out that his wife is a sub for special education and is also getting her masters in special ed like me.

So I don't know if it was that I really didn't do anything wrong, or that he felt sorry for me being on the drugs, or that he felt like he was giving his wife a ticket. But it worked! No ticket!!

That was the first time that has ever worked!!! I always get the ticket- NICE!

Infertiles overcome...

I found out today that my mentor teacher had her baby boy on Friday at 12:30!!!!! After 2+ years of TTC and undiagnosed they are finally holding their baby!

CONGRATULATIONS to B, B, and B!!!!

I can't wait to meet the little guy!!!

Don't mix~!

So... today was my first day at work while on Clomid- Not fun!

1st night- slight insomnia
2nd day- hot flashes and bitchy(didn't sleep that night either)
3rd day(today)- hot flashes and bitchy..... let's see where we go with this.

So I TRIED to have patience with my students today.... it's a goo thing that there wasn't another adult in the room because I would have looked like a CRAZY woman!!! Hot flash-crying-hot flash-angry-hot flash- irritated... you get the picture....

Needless to say I had an "episode" in the classroom.... when two of my students were not following directions and playing with an eraser that I had told them to put away.... I walked over and took it away, and threw it across the room. "There ya go! It's out of the way now"..... while it wasn't the worst thing in the world... I should have been more prepared to handle the situation.... goal for tomorrow- more patience!

Great...

So today I have my first CD3 appt with the dildo-cam (didn't bother me at all) and the CNM looked at my ovaries and uterus. She said that my uterus is shaped normal- Whoot! That I didn't have any cycts- another whoot! And that my lining was very thin- my period is just about over (yeah... I only have like a 3 day period.... sometimes only one real day and then two days of spotting)

I said that my lining being this thin doesn't give me hope for it being think when it needs to be (you know... like the past 14 cycles... and this one coming up) and she said- yeah.

I told her that I worry with the Clomid, I won't have any lining left. She again said "yeah" and said that they would probably change my treatments next cycle, with no Clomid. That's fine... but it already doesn't look great so far for this cycle : (

We can always wait and see what it looks like on my CD12 U/S. She caught me in the hall before I left and said "Today isn't CD3 for you.... you got your period so late in the day that it is considered CD2"....

My first thought- you guys told me how to count the days wrong- They said after noon=CD1... you start before noon=CD zero.... oops.

They I said, well... that makes my lining even thinner then doesn't it? Because it is only CD2 and she said "yeah, it does"

Great... another thing to overcome.... I am just wishing that when we go for the CD12(well... I guess it's CD11 technically...whatever) appt that my lining has cooperated.

False alarm...

F*Ck~!!

Well... looks like I will be taking all those hormones.... : (

I have to call and get my appt... but I CAN'T have my appt tomorrow... because I haven't left lesson plans for tomorrow for a sub (why not?!?!?! I KNEW that it was a possibility!!! UGH!!!)

I guess that I just thought that because I was late... that I was pregnant.

It looks like I will need to make my plans and send them to a partner-teacher and get my ass... sorry.. my vagina to the RE.

Late...

...period

Infertile day...

Today has been one of those days.... where EVERYTHING baby related makes you cry! UGH!

I was talking to a good friend of mine who is getting married in May (I'm the MOH) and was asking her if I can stay at her house the night before my CD1-3 appt.

She asked how everything is going... and I told the truth! UGH!! NOBODY but another infertile wants to hear this shit! SHUT UP YOU!!! She wanted me to talk about weddings, flowers, dresses and the like.... and here comes the bitter bitch inside that wants to talk about "me".... well.... I DON'T want to talk about me and my situation... the problem is that everyone ASKS.....

STOP ASKING!!! (except Val or other infertiles) I don't want to talk about it!! I have no willpower apparently and can't shut my mouth... so save us both the trouble and just don't ask.

Insurance...

Well.... DH and I have some good health insurance (apparently) because they are covering 6 IUIs (and everything that comes with them) and we only pay the $20 co-pay.

I know that most people don't have any coverage and for that we are blessed.

My cousin and his wife are also going through the same experience (and same health insurance too) as we are.... they are further along in the process than we are because they started trying earlier.

We were talking the other day about "what if Kaiser doesn't work out and we can't get pregnant?"... our conclusion- Switch insurances!!

You are supposed to be accepted as long as you have continuous coverage... sounds good.

Right now they are going to pay COBRA to keep their current coverage in place and ride-out the last 3 IUIs... then it's off to another provider! I can't say I blame them... DH and I plan to do the same thing!

If we don't get pregnant my next October (13 months from now- and about 28 months of TTC) we will shop around for another provider that will cover IF treatments and "try again" or possibly do IVF (Kaiser in our area doesn't even do IVF).

We know that we will never "stop trying".... but we can't afford to even think about IVF or OOP procedures right now. So.... there is a plan.... even if its just a backup... I like having it in place.

Razor blades...

Are (apparently) what 7 year-olds bring to school these days!!

AND.... the "coolest" thing to to is to tell your other students that you "will CUT them!" and "I will kill you"

Uhhhhhhh..... This is SO NOT COOL!

***Giving the latest information- Student was not "forced" to go home for the day, administrators didn't tell me anything, and she was back in my class the next morning (ugh.... so when she actually DOES hurt someone.... this is my proof that I didn't want any of this)***